Sometimes my current co-workers make me sad, sometimes they make me angry, sometimes I wonder how they have even made it this far in life without being killed off, as simple life decisions and generally being an adult seems so far out of reach for some of them, I’m literally lost for words.
However there are some things miners do a hell of a lot better than the regular public – flying is one of them (clearly when I say flying I mean travelling by air, I barely trust some of them to ride a bicycle let alone pilot the plane I’m on)
Below is the TOP 5 things the general public should take ‘on board’ *pun absolutely intended* to make travel more efficient, enjoyable and less stressful for all involved.
- EMBARKING/ DIEMBARKING ETIQUETTE: Nothing shits me more flying commercial than having Joe Assclown in seat 29C pushing and shoving his way down the aisle trying and be first off the plane – Mate if you wanted to be first out you should have checked in earlier/ pre booked a seat/ been more prepared. It’s disorganised and messy and leads to disembarking taking longer for everyone, as the aisle starts resembling a scrum. There is an unspoken yet strictly upheld system with FIFO planes (and buses) that we disembark in an orderly fashion, like a zipper – row 1 first, then row 2, etc. and everyone holds back until it’s your turn, if you’re up the back you can just remain seated until its almost your row. It’s so simple, and plainly obvious that it’s the best way to get everyone off I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for the general public to work out?
- HAND LUGGAGE ONLY: This has been a total game changer in my regular life – I have perfected the art of packing light and embraced hand luggage only travel. Yes I understand it’s not the biggest deal in the world if flying is a once a year occurrence but when you are flying upwards of 50-100 times annually you literally save HOURS by removing any need for check ins and waiting for luggage – not to mention $$. I have travel size everything, now realise that I don’t need 7 different pairs of shoes per trip and will usually be out of the airport and on my way home by the time the first suitcases are getting lifted off the carousel. Out of respect for fellow travelers if the bag fits under the seat put it under the seat, don’t be that guy that takes up a whole overhead locker- no one likes that guy.
- STAND BACK Ever notice the line that surrounds a baggage carousel? Ever wondered what it was there for? If a recent commercial flight is anything to go by not many people do. I blame myself for breaking my ‘hand luggage only’ rule and splashing out on 20kg checked. It’s to stand behind- if we all stood a step back from the carousel there would be enough room for everyone to see their bags and I wouldn’t nearly knock over a small child and a group of Asian tourist to get to my suitcase
- BE PREPARED This applies to every step involved at the airport. Approaching the security check – get yo shit out of your pocket BEFORE you reach the front and hold every one up. About to board – have you ticket out and ready to present About your turn to get off the plane – have your bag in your hand ready to go, or at the very least make sure you have shut your computer down Have a bladder the size of a pea – don’t pick the window seat And if you chose not to follow any of these don’t be surprised and then abuse the 3 people that jump ahead to push their bags through security/ walk off the plane, while you’re taking an age to undo your belt/ take your shoes off etc. I would love to film Terminal 2 on a Tuesday or Wednesday morning just to show people the seamless well-oiled machine that is fly out day.
- USE YOUR TIME WISELY There’s no two ways about, having to sit on a bus/ plane/ waiting room every week is a pain in the ass. Since starting in mining I have spent the equivalent of an entire month in departure lounges/ on planes (not including delays breakdowns reschedules etc.) It’s a lot of your life to waste, might as well do something useful with it. I’m not going to lie, I’m not penning a novel or learning a new language I spend most of it topping up the sleep bank in preparation for the week to come. Being 5’4 helps getting comfy in the seat, valium and a glass of wine (for non-work flights) works even better.